I get a lot of questions via email and it occurred to me that it might be helpful to publish (anonymously, and with permission) them, along with my responses. When one person asks something, there are always others wondering about essentially the same thing. Plus, this way other readers can offer their thoughts as well. Let’s get started!
Hi Holly, I’ve been reading your posts on healthy living .com. I am pretty sure I have some degree of DID. I have a question as far as relationships……do you think its helpful or harmful when my boyfriend tells me I had a switch? I of course have no memory of it, and it really sends me into a funk. thanks…..
(I edited my response here to include two messages, sent separately.)
A lot of significant others do that.
Whether it’s helpful or not depends on a lot of factors, not the least of which is how it affects you. If it sends you into a funk, it doesn’t seem that it’s helpful to you at this time. As far as it being harmful … well, I don’t know about you but if my boyfriend/girlfriend repeatedly did something that sent me into a funk it would certainly be harmful to my relationship.
I personally feel really ambivalent about it. I mean, I can look back and pinpoint situations in which hearing that from my partner genuinely helped matters … in the long run. But it always makes me feel invaded somehow. And it pisses me off, frankly. So I totally understand your discomfort with it.
If you have any thoughts on this I hope you’ll share them in the comments. And if you have a question that you feel comfortable publishing anonymously, send me an email with Mailbox in the subject line.