When I first started writing Don’t Call Me Sybil, I just wanted a place to publish my thoughts as someone living with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I had things to say and I wanted a place to say them.
Then I started writing Dissociative Living … and that gave me another place to say all those things I wanted and needed so badly to say.
I got a lot off my chest. And now I don’t have all that much to say anymore.
No, wait – that’s not right. I have plenty to say. I always do. But not about Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Actually, no – that’s not right, either.
I guess what I mean is that it’s less personal now. The desire to write about dissociative disorders is, I mean. I’m not exactly sure, but I think when I started writing I wanted to prove to myself that I could be someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder and also be proud of who I am. I wanted to know for sure that having DID doesn’t render me useless. I wanted to show myself that I have something unique and valuable to offer, not in spite of my mental illness, but partly because of it.
I accomplished that. Now I want to do something else.
When I write, particularly about the more basic stuff, I try to write the articles I would have wanted to read in those first few years after diagnosis when I was so confused and desperate to understand myself within the context of Dissociative Identity Disorder. Now I want to take that a step further … I want Don’t Call Me Sybil to be less a blog, and more the comprehensive source of reliable, accessible information on DID I searched and searched for in those early days and never found. I want DCMS to be the site I wanted to find.
I’m working hard on it and will relaunch in two weeks, on November 15th.