This is how I feel lately. I wouldn’t have understood it a few years ago. I would’ve felt defensive … Perfect??? In a world where we murder children and attack entire races simply because of the color of their skin? Bullshit. I would’ve thought that to laugh at the sky one would have to ignore life’s horrors. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to ignore anything. I wanted to be someone who wouldn’t look away. I wanted to be, if nothing else, a witness.
Witnesses don’t laugh at the sky, I would’ve thought. They’ve seen too much for that.
But one day not long ago I woke up laughing and I haven’t really stopped since. Depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress … it’s all still there; I still have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Perhaps I always will.
And somewhere in the world right now people are suffering. In many somewheres actually. Right now and right now and now and now and now man is demonstrating his own inhumanity in new, ever crueler ways. I didn’t think it was possible to know that and also know that life is beautiful.
My God, though, life is beautiful.