This is how I feel lately. I wouldn’t have understood it a few years ago. I would’ve felt defensive … Perfect??? In a world where we murder children and attack entire races simply because of the color of their skin? Bullshit. I would’ve thought that to laugh at the sky one would have to ignore life’s horrors. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to ignore anything. I wanted to be someone who wouldn’t look away. I wanted to be, if nothing else, a witness.
Witnesses don’t laugh at the sky, I would’ve thought. They’ve seen too much for that.
But one day not long ago I woke up laughing and I haven’t really stopped since. Depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress … it’s all still there; I still have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Perhaps I always will.
And somewhere in the world right now people are suffering. In many somewheres actually. Right now and right now and now and now and now man is demonstrating his own inhumanity in new, ever crueler ways. I didn’t think it was possible to know that and also know that life is beautiful.
My God, though, life is beautiful.
i couldn’t agree more with everything you have written here. Life is beautiful! I am glad that you are in a place where you can laugh and enjoy the freedom that comes in feeling genuine joy in your heart despite all of the pain and struggles you face.
Balance. Those who have experienced a deep sadness are opened up to the possibility of its opposite, deep joy.
I nominated you for the Very Inspirational Blogger Award. Keep on going.
I know exactly what you mean.
Just discovered your blog and happy to have landed here. To the extent that this life is the only way we experience anything…all the pain, and laughter…its all the same…its living and it is beautiful and horrid and perfect. Thank you for sharing the wonderfulness of you.