I’ve read a lot of coverage on the new TSA searches; all of it is distressing. But this video in particular left me reeling.
WARNING: This video contains footage of a 3-year-old girl crying and screaming, “Stop touching me,” while her mother holds her and a TSA agent forcibly gropes her. Watch with care.
The new security guidelines are a problem for me on their own. This video, however, has something the other videos I’ve seen and articles I’ve read don’t: a parent helping the agent.
I See Government & Parent Approved Assault
To be clear, I feel no judgment at all toward this mother. This must have been painful for her, too. If I felt I had no choice but to hold my child and make him submit to that kind of treatment I would be devastated. No parent should ever be put in a situation like this.
Even so, it’s the mother – watching, and even helping while her daughter screams for it to stop – that overwhelms me with emotion. My internal reaction to watching this is obviously more about my history than this family’s experience. I hope, therefore, that my emotional response is so out of proportion to the incident that I, a stranger, am more moved by it than the family is. I hope my perception is so skewed that what looks to me like legally sanctioned, parent enabled sexual assault of a child is nothing of the sort. I hope that little girl and her mother weren’t hurt, but merely inconvenienced.
I been silent so long now it’s gonna roar out of me like floodwaters and you think this guy telling this is ranting and raving my God; you think this is too horrible to have really happened, this is too awful to be the truth! But, please. It’s still hard for me to have a clear mind thinking on it. But it’s the truth even if it didn’t happen. – One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey
I Don’t Always See Things Accurately
It seems most people with Dissociative Identity Disorder also have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I’m no different. I know my past experiences honed and sharpened my capacity to both recognize danger and discern “upset” from “traumatized.” But I also know that PTSD distorts my ability to see some things for what they are. So rather than jump to conclusions about what I saw in the video, I’m focusing instead on my own surprisingly intense reaction to it. Whatever this was or was not, I am acutely disturbed by it.
In the video I see a mother helping someone sexually assault her little girl. That’s the truth. Even if it didn’t happen.
“I see a mother helping someone sexually assault her little girl” … that’s what I see as well. I see the people looking on and doing nothing. I see her smiling and playing early on in the clip, as her dissociative front. I see the father making excuses for his daughters “bad” behaviour. I see her mother forcing her… offering her up for… abuse.
I’m trying to reality check it, and failing.
Hi castorgirl,
The way you describe it … you and I see this video the same way. It looks to me the same way it looks to you, from your description. It just bowls me over. I’ve had some distance from it now and feel more capable of reality checking it. But honestly, if I re-watched it I’d feel the same overwhelming intensity all over again. It feels like it can’t be real; like it’s that outrageous that it can’t possibly have truly happened.
Astonishing and tragic. Isn’t this another form of terrorism we have succumbed to in our fight against terrorism? It makes me very sad.
Hi Lu,
Isn’t this another form of terrorism we have succumbed to in our fight against terrorism?
Yes! I couldn’t have articulated it so well, you really nailed it. I’m trying to remember that not everyone sees things the way I do – which, in this case, is good – and so it might be that I’m a member of a small minority that sees this as a kind of terrorism. But indeed, that’s exactly how I see it. Thanks for that comment, Lu. You said in 15 words what it would have taken me 500 to say.
the video seems to have been removed from every link due to copyright claims (that was quick!) but i think i am glad i didn’t see it….just reading about it has us all up in arms.
something that struck me is you saying that you don’t always see things accurately. i can relate to that…i sometimes wonder about how that affects my memories…but it seems just another why im attempting to deny/minimize/blame myself for things that happened to me, to us.
anyway, the tsa screening process scares the bejesus out of me and i never even thought of the children…i guess i didn’t expect agents to do that with children….i don’t think they should..
Hi Maggie,
i sometimes wonder about how that affects my memories
I do believe it affects memories. It’s a highly volatile topic but it’s one I think is so important and I wish we all, as survivors, as people, weren’t so afraid of it, so polarized by it.
the tsa screening process scares the bejesus out of me
Me too. I have a hand tremor that is exacerbated by things like caffeine, stress, and fear. The last time I flew these measures weren’t in place. Even so, security was tightened – it was the first time I’d flown since 9/11. The trip through security left me shaking so badly that an agent was a bit suspicious of me. He said, “Why are you shaking? Are you nervous?” I just told him I had a hand tremor and left it at that. I didn’t mention that most of the time it’s not noticeable but that his mere presence was terrifying me. I don’t want to think about what might happen if I flew today.
I wish we all, as survivors, as people, weren’t so afraid of it, so polarized by it.
i know that for myself, it is scary for a few reasons: one of them being scared that i did, in fact, make it all up, because there is no actual proof. the other fear being that if i were to admit out loud my fears about my memories, someone could use it as a weapon against me, a way to hurt me.
i can’t really put this feeling into words right now.
for example, my dad owned up to emotional incest, but denies actual physical acts. what i wonder sometimes is if because of the emotional SA normal fatherly type stuff felt like abuse? and if that is the case then where does that leave me and the insiders in trying to heal?
i think it is the nature of surviving anything traumatic to question if it was in fact reality, because it is so far outside of the norm. sometimes i think i could have video tape and still have doubts. really, intellectually, there is very little room for doubt, but i managed to hold onto enough of it just to make me feel nuts.
thanks for writing this blog, we really appreciate it.
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There is no way in hell I can watch that, but holy fuck. I will be traveling next month and am already having panic attacks about what I’m going to have to go through and how much of it I’ll even remember afterward.
Hi Stephanie,
I’m sorry if this post is what triggered your panic attacks. At the same time, I’m really glad I now know about the new TSA screening policies so I can find a way to prepare myself. If I were blindsided by something like this it would be much, much worse.
For what it’s worth, not every flying passenger is having to submit to these “screenings.” The TSA is using full body scanners – xray machines, essentially – and as far as I can tell the “enhanced pat down” (e.g. the forcible groping the 3-year-old was subjected to) is supposed to be used if you refuse the scanner or set off the scanners’ alarms. However, there aren’t scanners at every airport. That might mean airports without these scanners are operating business as usual, no enhanced pat downs. I assume so, but I could be wrong.
Also, one article says not everyone must be scanned, that passengers are selected randomly. Another one reports that all passengers must be scanned. You should be able to find out exactly what to expect by contacting the airport(s) you’re going to be traveling through.
Here are some links:
Washington Post – If you won’t submit to screening, you won’t fly, TSA says
CNN – TSA: Despite objections, all passengers must be screened
The TSA Blog – Enhanced Pat-downs
LA Times – Man shuns body scan, prompting flap with TSA and celebrity status on web
I understand your fear. While I didn’t intend for anyone to have panic attacks, I know that as upsetting as all of this information has been to me, I’d much, much rather know than be surprised.
i wonder if someone could speak up for us? NAMI maybe? someone who could make people aware of the potential and almost guaranteed after effects to our (trauma victims, especially sexual trauma victims) well being?
i guess their argument could be to chose to be scanned or don’t fly….
i hate this.
I have to fly next month and I’m already worried about this. Parts of us are saying “whatever they have to do to keep us safe– its national security” and parts of us are screaming at how wrong this is. Guess which PTSD/DID/traumatized side wins the fight? God help me if they decide I need a pat-down next month.
Hi Pilgrim,
I feel a little bad for posting this now that I see how much it’s upset some people. I didn’t intend to scare anyone. And I don’t think this video represents what typically happens. My guess is most people go through security without a hitch, just like before the new scanners and pat-downs were implemented.
Holly,
i am grateful that you shared this, because i would much rather be informed than it being sprung on me. at lest knowing before, when we fly again we can talk about it and what it is/means and come up with strategies to handle it….so i (and probably others) really appreciate the heads up.
I think we may have cause to take action and explain our need for exception or consideration of the implication of ‘pat-downs’, with the letter of a doc, perhaps, to lawmakers who oversee the TSA.
Email, friend of the ADA, Iowa Senator Tom Harkin in support of the ADA:
http://harkin.senate.gov/contact_opinion.cfm
Call, friend of the ADA, Iowa Senator Tom Harkin: 202-224-3254 and voice
your support of the ADA.
Also your local reps may help. Politicians just don’t understand our plight, and maybe this will help.
Thank you, kdawg.
Make it into a “game”
Ugh.