I’ve been thinking a lot about your post and Natasha’s, trying to understand why, on the one hand I’m comfortable with the word “crazy,” and on the other hand I’m hurt by it. I’ve decided that it’s primarily two things:

1) When I use the word, I’m generally aware of my motivations. When other people use it, I’m not. I’m left to wonder, even if it’s just in the background, if they’re blithely saying “crazy” in the same unexamined manner most of us do, or if their use of the word reflects a genuine intolerance for anything that falls outside the realm of normal cognitive functioning. Sometimes the context or my relationship with the speaker settles the question for me, but not always. Without a clear understanding of that person’s position on “crazy,” I feel insecure and vaguely defensive.

2) Like it or not, “crazy” has largely negative connotations. And really, that’s putting it mildly. As you point out, those negative connotations tend to smack heavily of illogical; absurd; not worth paying attention to; too much; wrong. Even when used, like you say, as a positive amplifier, “crazy” still denotes something that’s over-the-top. My problem with this is that I – and countless others, no doubt – have struggled again and again to be heard above my disorder. I’m not the only mentally ill person out there who bitches now and then that I’m not taken seriously; that my thoughts, feelings, and opinions aren’t valid because of my disorder. But every time I say, “You guys, this ice cream is crazy good!” I am perpetuating the idea that crazy = beyond logical understanding.

My son’s friends (he and his friends are all 12) use the word “rape” a lot and think it’s just hilarious. I don’t think it’s hilarious at all to joke about rape. There’s no doubt in my mind that none of those boys intend to make light of actual rape. But unfortunately that doesn’t change the fact that they’re doing just that.

I don’t know if I think of “crazy” in quite the same way. Even so, your post has given me a lot to think about and helped me understand the ambivalence I feel about the word.

Thank you so much for allowing me to publish this.